Alcohol ruins toilets

Last summer I worked with a guy that had too much to drink one night (along with all other nights) and he started started to walk home with his buddies. Then an enormous woman asked them if they needed a ride home. The refused, but she insisted, and they allowed her to take them home. They get to his place and the woman invites herself in for a drink. Well, she ends up getting a bit tipsy herself and decides that she needs to visit the bathroom. It appeared that she had tried to sit down and lost her balance so that she crashed onto the toilet and busted the tank! When my co-worker ran in she was passed out on the floor with the smashed toilet behind her. From that point on she was known as "the tank busta."

As I heard this story I thought to myself that the best part is that I doubt that she really passed out! I mean, think about it. Say you are an obese person and you smashed a toilet. What do you do next? The only option you have is to pretend that you are unconscious and just wait for someone to come and drag you away from the scene. At this point you simply stay in the spot that they leave you in until the coast is clear and then you make a break for the door. I think getting caught with you pants down would be much less humiliating than having to tell someone what happened.

Free Stylin'

I created a new play list which is kind of a bid deal because I have only made 4 others ever. The new one is called "Tree Sap" which consist of some of the sappiest songs that I know of. Among some of the songs are:


Good Time by Counting Crows
Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups
Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens
Basic Space by The XX
All I need by Radiohead
Days Like this Keep me Warm by the Polyphonic Spree


If you heard one or any of these songs I highly recommend that you stop reading and find them now, and then read the rest of my blog as you listen to the songs.


This week has been really good. Friday night was rough because some plans fell through and then my backup plans fell through, so I was stuck at home thinking about how much fun everyone else might be having. I was so upset that I just laid in bed until about 2 am because I couldn't sleep.


Saturday was much better though. I went to the temple first thing. Then, I watched Beauty and the Beast with my roommate. I went swimming for a few minutes. I bought a new basketball. Had a BBQ with Jordy and Derrick and their families. Played a few games of volleyball with strangers. And then a bunch of people came over to my apartment and we just joked around for a couple of hours. Overall, not a bad day.


Today I wanted to write lots of pleasant notes on people's facebook page, but I couldn't bring myself to do as much as I wanted. I wanted to tell my friends something like, "I think you hair looks really nice" or "I think you are a lot of fun to hang out with" or "I really enjoy your sense of humor" etc. It seems like a good idea, but the problem is that I am a single male and if I complement my friends that are girls, and girls read way too much into stuff like that sometimes.


Until next time my friends...

poetry corner

I normally don't share my poems with people, but I wrote over 200 poems between 2004 and 2007. I found one of my books tonight and I thought that it might be fun to put them out there. Most of them are kind of funny I think, but I was surprised how sad a lot of them were. I thought this one was kind of funny and sad, it doesn't have a title:

Women come off as being too chaste
and cover up feelings they feel
I know they want to flock to me
or pull me in with a seductive reel

They want me bad, for how could they not
but they are too dang good with their cover-up
Bat your eyes and look away
touch my arm and hear what I say

But you girls are to moral for that
and afraid to lust and sin and turn to gray
I promise to forgive you, and God will too
please just glance my way


My Hair is not Computer Enhanced- June 22, 2004

A common boy once asked
while admiring a photo of me
"Has the hair been computer enhanced?
Is it actually that big and free?"

I pridefully reply to the wee one
"No my son, the hair stands alone
A computer enhancement program has not been run
to enlarge my hair as big as is shown

"It naturally raises
and expands through the air
larger than all sizes
I'm so blessed its not fair"

The boy lowers his head
and he kicks a rock
"I want hair like yours" he said,
"but I don't got them curly locks"

"All is well my dear child
there is hope for you still
you must start with hair mild
and slowly it will fill

"But this I will advise
It is for your own good
Please kid, be wise
and do what you should

"Keep your hair under control
or it'll grow wild and all
Then you will look like a troll
and the puff will surely fall

"There is no reason for computer enhance
for it will not be shown everywhere
But for chicks, fun and romance
one must grow big hair

"A nice car helps too."

I can rant with the best of them

First off, I would like to welcome my new follower, Ashlie, thank you for joining us and subjecting yourself to my mindless babble.

I am usually an understanding and cool headed person, but I don't like it when people take advantage of others or do stupid things. I would like to take a minute to vent. This is the list of topics for today: Brent Brown Ford Car Dealership, Carriage Cove Parking Permit, Utah Drivers, and BYU Honor Code.

Rant #1. Brent Brown Raped Me (or at least robbed me of my innocence)
I have a sliver of justice with brent brown in that I am able to write a piercing review about them on google. This is sort of long, but here it is:

Lies and thieves‎ - ‎ - 2010-05-09

Brent Brown bends over backwards, but I felt like they bent me over forwards (much much worse). I bought a car on the condition that they would fix my window. I later found that the back door wouldn't open from the inside to get out (who checks for that). When I brought my car in to get it fixed they said it would cost $750 to fix the door because they had to take apart both the rear and front doors to fix a cable (this didn't make any sense, but thats what they told me). They said that they would fix the window when the part came in. They never ordered the part.

I watched a youtube video and fixed the door myself for $20. I only had to take off the panel for one door not both. As a know nothing about cars person, it took me 2 hours to fix (i expect they could have done it in less than half that time). SCAM!! how could that have cost $750!!!

They flat out lied about my window repair.

Never buy a car here. Never repair you car here.

Oh yeah FYI, the finance guy tried to set me up with an 8% loan, then I went to my bank on got one at 3.5%.


Rant #2: Carriage Cove Parking Permit
My apartment complex wants to charge me $25 to let me park in their parking lot for 4 months! this is ridicules. 1, they wouldn't even be allowed to build this complex without a parking lot, so if everyone refused to pay, and parked on the street instead, the city would force them to remove the parking fee. 2, and this is the main reason, there is no service provided here. They were forced to build it, now they are making fist-fulls of money on it! it doesn't cost hardly anything to maintain a parking lot over the summer. RIDICULOUS! This above picture is the fake parking permit I tried to make, but I don't think I will use it because I don't want to be dishonest and I'm not sure it would work anyway.

Rant #3: Utah Drivers
This is getting long so I will be brief. People stop their cars in the middle of the road for people to cross the street. If there is no cross walk, DON'T STOP! this is a good way to get people killed. I realize that you are just trying to be nice, but don't. trust me, they can wait another 15 seconds and cross the street after we pass. And don't speed up when I try to get in front of you on a merging street, thats another good way to kill people!

Rant #4: BYU Honor Code
Many BYU faithfuls think that it is blasphemy to disagree with anything about BYU, well maybe i'm a blasphemer then. The one requirement that they should ask their students is: Are you doing the best you can to live the commandments of God? That's it. There doesn't need to be a measure for sideburns and mustaches, for a living proximity radius, and forced Mormon religion classes. I think that all of these things severely overstep our rights as citizens of the United States of America. BYU should trust their students to do their best, and not bully them into living a certain way. Last I checked, I can still enter the temple with a beard. I can still live in any apartment that I want and enter the temple. Why does BYU have a higher standard?

My right of free speech and religion are two of the most important rights that I have. I should be able to express myself however I wish (in dress and speech), as long as I am doing my best to live the commandments as I do so. I also don't think that BYU should force non LDS students to study the Book of Mormon. I think that it would greatly benefit their lives to understand the principles and apply them to their life, but I think that their freedom of religion is more important than that and that religion should not be forced upon anyone under any circumstance.

The single housing around BYU is a disaster. Prices have inflated and living conditions have worsened. There is no motive for apartment complexes to provide a better service when students will be forced to rent from them because there simply are not enough rooms available in the 2 mile radius around the school. As the school interferes with the free market, the students will suffer.

I understand that these rules of BYU have good intentions, and many good things have come from them, but I think that there are some aspects of my life that should be off limits. I am very grateful for the experience that I've had at BYU and the spiritual, mental, and social benefits of coming here, but I also think that the system can use some improvement.
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Sorry about the rant and pessimism, sort of. But the good news is that everything else is just peachy in my life!

Balanced Life

above is a picture of a saab that looks like the saab that I drive. it is a perfect car for escaping from terrorists and fighting crime. It also has some really cool cup holders inside.

Lately, I have been learning more about the benefits of balance in life. I am finding that sleep, exercise, and eating right goes a long way to reducing stress and improving life. I also feel more proactive and interested in doing things. This past week I actually scheduled things to do with people on different days and I feel like I accomplished so much more by doing it. Another big step for me this week was when I went to 2 clothing stores and spent money! My wardrobe was literally falling apart at the seams.

In other news this past week, My friend Bob Harper and I have been evaluating some different scenarios for a new business that we might be starting in the next month or so. I think there is some potential there, but we have a lot to learn first. More to come on that for sure.